How to tell if your neighbor is a stagehand...


Trellis in the rose garden appears to be old trussing.

If he's in the IA and mows the lawn, he stops every fifteen minutes for
coffee and a smoke.

His telephone has an XLR out.

A big truck is always blocking your driveway.

He won't let you into the house without an "All Access" pass.

Dog has a laminate.

His tool shed is 53 feet long and has air shocks.

Your daughter asks him to buy Girl Scout Cookies and he says...
"Screw that, I'll make a few phone calls and we'll do a benefit".

The motion detector driveway light is a Xenon Gladiator III mounted on the
garage roof.

Ringing his doorbell or phoning before noon is *very* dangerous.

Clothesline is tuned to A440.

Bizarre obsession with taking showers.

Lawn edging is made from old mic stand bases.

Front sidewalk has white spike tape arrows pointing the way into the
house.

He wears a Clear Com headset when mowing the lawn.

Mailbox exploded due to overloading.

New mailbox is made from a converted Anvil briefcase.

Curtains are made of black velour.